Article No 41

Memory of  War

I woke up early today, haunted by a dream. It wasn’t just any dream; it was a memory from nearly ten years ago, a time when my life was forever changed. I was twelve years old, living in Syria, specifically in aleppo, when the war broke out in 2012. My family and I, along with so many others, were trapped in a place where every moment was a battle for survival.

As the war intensified, our situation grew desperate. The once vibrant streets of my city turned into empty battlefields. Food, water, and electricity became luxuries we could no longer afford. Everything was blocked; roads were cut off, markets closed, and the sound of gunfire and bombs filled the air. I was working in a bag factory back then, trying to help my family get by, but no amount of work could bring food to our table when there was none left to buy.

Our home, which once sheltered my parents, my four brothers, my two sisters, and me, had become a place of fear. My youngest sister, Hala, who was only three years old, began to cry one day. Her cries were not just of discomfort; they were cries of hunger. Hunger that we could not satisfy. There was no bread, no flour, no rice, nothing. I watched as my mother’s eyes filled with pain, knowing that she could not feed her children.

In that moment, my mother made a decision. She looked at Hala, then back at me, and said she would risk her life to get us bread. My mother was my closest friend; I was always by her side, and I knew I had to go with her. It was not safe to be outside—snipers watched the streets, and bombs fell unpredictably. But there was no other choice. The only way to find bread was to walk fifteen kilometers to the nearest bakery.

At around one in the morning, my mother and I set out. The darkness of the night was not the only thing that surrounded us; fear did too. As we walked, the sound of gunshots echoed through the streets, and a sniper’s bullet whizzed past us. I remember grabbing my mother’s hand and hiding behind a metal box, trembling and pleading with her to turn back. But she held me close, whispering words of comfort. She told me we would run to the other side, and together, we made it across.

This scene repeated itself several times as we moved from one street to another, dodging bullets and bombs. After four hours of walking, we finally reached the bakery, only to find a line that stretched for hundreds of meters. We stood there, waiting for hours, our hope dwindling with each passing minute. When we were just a few steps away, the bread ran out. I could see the despair in my mother’s eyes. So many people, like us, had waited only to leave empty-handed.

But my mother was determined. She refused to return home without something for her children. We wandered through the neighborhood, searching desperately for any source of bread. Hours passed, and it wasn’t until four in the afternoon that we found a small bakery selling a limited amount of bread. Exhausted and heartbroken, we bought what little they had and began our journey back.

The walk home felt longer, each step heavier with disappointment and fear. My mother, usually strong and resilient, broke down in tears. I watched her cry, feeling helpless. All I wanted was to take away her pain, but there was nothing I could do.

When we finally returned home, we were not filled with relief but with exhaustion and sorrow. Hala’s cries had stopped, but not because her hunger was satisfied. She was too tired to cry anymore. That day, we ate, but it wasn’t enough. The bread we brought back was not just a meal; it was a reminder of everything we had lost and the price we paid just to survive.

Soon after, the bombing intensified, and my family was forced to leave the home we had known for so long. We moved to the countryside of Idlib, leaving behind friends, school, and the life we once had. That day was the last time my family gathered around the same table. It was the last time we shared a meal together. We became scattered, each member in a different place, and from that moment, life became a series of struggles.

Ten years have passed since that day. I escaped the war and began a long journey as a refugee, moving from country to country. My family broke apart in the process—my father remained in Aleppo, my brothers fled to Turkey, and I left with my mother, Hala, and my youngest brother to Idlib. Eventually, I had to leave them behind as well, and we haven’t shared a meal together since

My father has passed away, and I never got to see him again. Today, I live far from my family, feeling like an orphan even though I know they are alive. The war has taken everything from me—my childhood, my home, and my sense of belonging. Hala is now fourteen, living with my mother and younger brother in Idlib. The bombing continues, and they still live in fear, wishing for the day when we can all sit together at the same table again. But I know that dream is impossible. The reality of war is harsh, and it has taught me that some dreams never come true

As I write these words, I feel a lump in my throat, a suffocating heaviness in my chest. The memories, the pain, the longing—it all feels too real, as if I am still that twelve-year-old boy standing in line, hoping for a piece of bread. This is not just my story; it is the story of every refugee who has been forced to leave their home, their family, and their life behind. It is a story of survival, of loss, and of a hope that, despite everything, still burns inside me 

Ammar dale bsal 

With my great love and longing for you mom

Article No 40

Pennywafelhuis 

  Hello, my friends. Today    I would like to share with you my wonderful experience   In the heart of Middelburg, specifically in the Dauwendaele neighborhood, lies Pennywafelhuis, a community art project that brings together people from diverse cultural backgrounds with the aim of fostering understanding and integration through various artistic and community activities. This unique initiative was founded by Anda van Riet, a renowned photographer, and Marlou Pluijmaekers, a creative painter, in collaboration with the Kunsteducatie Walcheren foundation. Over the years, Pennywafelhuis has become the cultural heart of the neighborhood, providing a safe and open environment for everyone, regardless of their cultural or religious backgrounds

I heard a lot of excitement among the residents of the camp I live in about this place and the activities it offers. Their enthusiasm piqued my curiosity, so a friend of mine from the camp invited me to visit. That Tuesday morning, we set out together at ten o’clock. Upon arrival, I was surprised to find a large number of residents from my camp participating in various activities, all engaged in pursuits such as gardening, painting, sewing, and cooking.

I was amazed by the diversity of nationalities present; I saw people from Syria, Yemen, Eritrea, Somalia, Afghanistan, Turkey, and many others. This diversity truly reflects the mission of Pennywafelhuis, which aims to create an environment that promotes understanding and integration among all. The goal is not merely to organize activities but to build a bridge between different cultures, where people try to communicate and share their stories and cultural backgrounds, creating a sense of community and connection.

During my tour of the space, I noticed the artistic wall inside, where participants are encouraged to express themselves through painting and writing. This wall serves as a canvas reflecting diverse stories and cultures from around the world. Everyone leaves their mark here, whether it’s a drawing that expresses their longing for their homeland or words that narrate a specific experience. It is a place that embodies cultural interaction and offers everyone the opportunity to express themselves freely.

I personally participated in a painting workshop with a group of people from various nationalities, and the atmosphere was filled with positive energy. While we painted, a group of women in the kitchen prepared a delicious soup for everyone. We all sat together at one table, about 20 people from diverse backgrounds and cultures, sharing stories and laughter as we enjoyed our meal. I felt as if we were one big family, which gave me a sense of comfort and belonging that I had missed for a long time.

What sets Pennywafelhuis apart is that it is not just a place for organizing activities; it is a space that promotes integration and supports refugees and migrants. Through various activities, refugees are encouraged to learn the Dutch language and familiarize themselves with the local culture, helping them to adapt better to their new community. Here, people learn how to build new relationships and develop important social and cultural skills.

One participant I met during my visit shared his experience with me. He said, “Even though I don’t have residency yet, I find in Pennywafelhuis a place that gives me positive energy. I have met new friends and started learning Dutch, which has helped me better understand Dutch culture. They offer free Dutch language lessons and distribute food for free to refugees.

The participant also mentioned, “I am very grateful for this place; despite the challenges of life as a refugee, I find in Pennywafelhuis the support I need. Here, I learn and grow, and I feel part of a community that cares for me.” These words profoundly reflect the message of Pennywafelhuis and how it strives to improve the lives of refugees and migrants by empowering them and providing opportunities for learning and connection 

What distinguishes Pennywafelhuis is the diversity of activities it offers, from painting and photography workshops to cooking, sewing, and gardening. These activities not only aim to teach new skills but also to create an environment that gathers people from different backgrounds and cultures. Through these activities, refugees interact with the local community and learn how to integrate and form new relationships.

When I sat with others at the dinner table, I felt the warmth of family and unity, which is something I had missed for a long time. The atmosphere of the place is comforting and filled with peace, thanks to the dedicated and supportive team. They welcomed me warmly and encouraged me to participate and express myself freely, making me feel like I was at home.

Pennywafelhuis is not just a place for activities; it is a message of peace and hope for everyone who comes to it. Here, people from all religions, cultures, and nationalities gather without discrimination, enhancing the feeling of tranquility and belonging. It is a place that reflects true human values and seeks to provide support and encouragement to everyone in need.

I would like to thank the team and organizers of this wonderful place, as well as the supporters who made this project possible. I am grateful for my experience at Pennywafelhuis, and I hope it continues to provide support and assistance to all refugees and migrants and remains a space that brings people together based on love and understanding.

If you are looking for a place to learn about new cultures and develop your skills, or if you want to feel a sense of belonging, then Pennywafelhuis is the perfect spot. It is not just an art project but a space for building relationships, exchanging experiences, and learning from one another. In this place, everyone feels safe and valued, making it an integral part of the lives of Middelburg’s residents.

Ammar dale bsal

For more about them, visit their personal website

www.pennywafelhuis.nl

Article No 39

OPEN DAG

Open Day at Refugee Camps in the Netherlands – A Unique Experience

Hello everyone! Today, I would like to share with you my wonderful experience at the open day in the refugee camps in the Netherlands, which is held on September 28 each year. This day serves as a golden opportunity for both refugees and Dutch citizens to interact and get to know each other directly. The refugee camps open their doors to visitors who come to discover the lives of refugees and learn about their cultures and experiences.

I live in Studio A58 in Middelburg, a place that hosts many refugees from various countries, such as Syria, Yemen, Somalia, Palestine, and Turkey. For us, the open day was an opportunity to showcase a part of our cultures and traditions and to share our experiences directly with the Dutch people.

Preparation for the Open Day

We began preparing for this day a few days in advance. We all worked together as one team to decorate the camp and prepare the activities we would present to the visitors. The main hall in the camp was organized to welcome guests, and the spaces were divided to showcase different cultures. We had a section dedicated to traditional foods, where we prepared dishes representing our countries. For example, some of my Syrian friends prepared traditional Syrian sweets like baklava and maamoul, while my friends from Yemen and Somalia prepared their own dishes. Each person contributed a part of their country, whether through food, traditional clothing, or even music.

Celebration and Activities

When the visitors started to arrive, the atmosphere was filled with energy and warmth. It was an opportunity for all of us to talk with the Dutch people and share our stories and experiences. I felt great joy when I saw the smiles on the visitors' faces as they tasted the traditional dishes and enjoyed the cultural performances we presented. It was not just about tasting food; it was a genuine opportunity for communication and understanding.

We provided the visitors with tours of the camp, showing them the living quarters, the facilities we use, and the places for daily activities. This was personally important to me, as I was able to show them the life we live and how we try to adapt to new circumstances. There were also traditional dances and songs from various countries. We shared dances with the visitors, which was one of the most beautiful moments of the day, as we felt a sense of connection and understanding despite the differences in language and cultural backgrounds.

My Role in the Open Day

For me, I was responsible for a bicycle repair workshop. Although I do not have extensive experience in this field, I learned some skills that enabled me to help repair bicycles for the camp residents. On this day, we allocated a space to showcase this workshop, where visitors came to see how we work and to learn about the bicycle repair profession, which has become part of my daily life here. I spoke with many Dutch visitors who were interested in learning more about this skill. Despite my language barrier, I tried my best to communicate with them and learn some Dutch phrases, and they were very helpful.

Integration and Sense of Belonging

What affected me most on this day was the feeling of warmth and belonging. Even though I am a new refugee in the Netherlands, I felt as though I was among my family. The atmosphere was very familial; children were playing, families were exchanging conversations, and everyone felt happy and at ease. This day served as a reminder to me that integration is not just about learning the language or getting a job, but about building human relationships based on mutual understanding and respect.

One camp resident I spoke with said to me: "I felt safe and comfortable when I saw the Dutch people participating in this special day. It was not just a visit; it was a genuine interaction. I felt that they understood us and respected our cultures and experiences."

Impressions of the Dutch Visitors

I also spoke with many Dutch visitors who expressed their admiration for the event. One visitor told me: "This is the first time I have attended such a celebration. I have always heard about refugees through the media, but today, I was able to interact with them directly. They were very friendly, the food was delicious, and everyone welcomed us warmly." This comment was very impactful for me, as it reflects the importance of direct communication in breaking stereotypes and misconceptions.

Gratitude and Appreciation

In the end, I can only express my deep gratitude to the wonderful Dutch people and to everyone who attended and participated in this special day. I would also like to thank all the volunteers who worked hard to make this event a success, and the management of Studio A58 in Middelburg for providing us with everything we needed to organize this day. It was an unforgettable day, and I am extremely grateful to everyone who contributed to its success. Thank you, COA, and everyone who was part of this wonderful day.

To see videos about this day, visit my Instagram page

AMMAR D B 

Article No 38

September 29, 2023: The Day I Was Reborn

Hello, my friends. Today is my birthday. But it’s not the birthday I was born on no, it’s the day I truly began to live as a human being. A year ago, on this exact date, my life changed. I started feeling like a person, and the people around me became human too. It was the day I stepped onto European soil. A year ago today, I risked everything, including my life, just to feel like a human being.

Before this day, I was living in a country that devoured me, piece by piece, offering nothing in return. A year ago, I crossed the sea in an inflatable boat a boat that nearly swallowed me and could have turned me into fish food. But, to be honest, I’m thankful for that boat. It gave me a safer, better life. It gave me hope.

I am not exaggerating. Life before this day was a nightmare, whether in Syria or in Turkey. I felt like a criminal, as if my only crime was being Syrian, or Arab. I didn’t understand why my mere existence felt like an offense. But on this day a year ago, I became a human being. And every year, I will celebrate this day, because I see it as the day I was truly born. Before this day, I didn’t feel like I was alive. I only knew war and displacement, moving from one place to another, being treated like an outcast wherever I went.

But when I arrived in Europe, I felt human for the first time. Some might think I’m exaggerating. But I’m just being honest this is how I felt. I lived through experiences you cannot imagine, things the media rarely shows. And that is why this date means so much to me. It is my new birthdate because, before this, I did not feel alive.

What has changed since then, you ask? Everything. I can now leave my house without fear. I can walk freely, look at people and smile without worry. I can visit the beach, practice my hobbies, and, most importantly, I have an identity. I have a card that tells me who I am a picture of me, with my name and details. It’s not just a piece of paper; it’s proof that I exist, that I have rights.

I can go to the doctor when I’m sick. I can learn about different cultures without fear. I can step outside knowing I’ll return safely, without being kidnapped or robbed just because I’m Syrian. Here, no one cheats you or steals from you because of where you’re from. It’s different here.

On this day, a year ago, I became the real Ammar. Before, I was living like a shadow, a ghost. But now, I live a normal life something every refugee dreams of. Refugees live with racism and injustice in the places they fled to, but here, I feel human. I know that many still suffer, but for me, this day marks my survival and my rebirth.

What was I feeling when I arrived? I felt an overwhelming mix of joy and pride. Although the first few months were challenging, the most important thing was that I survived. I escaped the hell I once lived in. To be honest, I’m proud of myself. Proud that I made it, despite all the obstacles. And that moment, when I set foot on European soil, I’ll never forget it.

I still remember stepping into that boat a boat I once called the “boat of death.” But I was wrong. It wasn’t the boat of death; it was the boat of life. Even if the sea had swallowed me, I believe that dying in the sea would have been better than the life I was leaving behind. I still hear the screams of children, women, and men when the boat stopped in the middle of the sea, waves crashing around us. But I also remember the cheers of joy when we finally reached the shore.

Some of those who made the journey with me still struggle due to European bureaucracy. Others have found peace. But what mattered most that day was that we crossed from hell to safety, from darkness to light, from evil to good. We crossed from lies to truth.

I am still telling you the truth, and I am not exaggerating. The moment we arrived, the look on our faces said it all. You would have thought we had just been released from prison. The smiles on the faces of the children, especially the one who was no more than five years old, were priceless. What must this child have experienced in his homeland to smile like that when he reached a new place?

I could write a book about this moment about these emotions. I wish I could convey the full feeling, but I’m trying to share as much as I can with you now, to keep this memory alive. This date is important to me and to everyone who was with me on that boat. It’s a date of pride, dignity, and honor.

I will always talk about this day because it made me who I am. How could I ever forget the day that gave me a life, an identity, and a homeland? I had always dreamed of having an ID card one I could pull out just to look at my picture and remind myself of who I am. I now know who Ammar is. I know what my future holds. I know that I can pursue something I love without fear or hesitation.

This is my story. You can ask any refugee about how their life changed after they made it to safety, and they’ll tell you the same. First, they’ll smile a big smile of pride and then they’ll shed a tear, remembering the pain, the hardship, the terrifying moments they went through on their journey across the sea, land, forests, and mountains. After that, they’ll speak about the joy they felt when they finally reached a place of safety.

Some secured their future, others the future of their children, and some even the future of their mothers and sisters. But others died while trying. They died searching for an identity, for a homeland, for dignity and safety. Their families mourned them, and their friends missed them. They tried to escape hell, only to end up in the sea or lost in a forest, never to be found. It’s tragic, but this is the price we pay to find a life worth living.

When I told my mother and sisters that I was leaving, they were against it, of course. My mother warned me of the dangers, and my sisters begged me not to go. But I told them, "Do you think I am truly alive now? Do you think I’m safe here?" I didn’t want to make my mother cry, and I didn’t want to upset my sisters, but I had no choice. I had to take that risk, and I’m glad I did.

Now, I am happier, safer, and prouder than I ever imagined I could be. I have my identity, and I have a date that I will celebrate every year. As for my friends, they never opposed my decision to leave again. They supported me, emotionally and financially. I will always be grateful to them. Their support played a big role in making the new Ammar.

Looking back, I wasn’t just willing to take the risk I was excited. I was ready, despite the fears. I knew I had to get out of the darkness I was living in. Now, life matters to me. I look forward to tomorrow. My energy is back. I talk to people, something I once feared. These things, my friends, are what I was deprived of for so long.

I am proud, deeply proud of what I have been through. I am grateful for every moment I lived. Even the fear, the exhaustion it all led me here. And I hope that everyone reading this can feel just a fraction of what I feel now. I will never forget that moment when I stepped off the boat and onto land. The sky was clear, and I saw a bird fly above us. I remember thinking, "Will I reach my destination, or will I die?" That bird seemed to guide us, and as we reached the shore, I silently thanked it.

There are so many details I could share, so much more I want to say. There were 27 of us on that boat five children, five women, and the rest men. I believe that every one of them now feels proud of that journey.

I’m not finished yet, but I’ll stop here for now. This was my experience, and this was the day that changed my life forever. The date I am referring to is September 29, 2023, and today is September 29, 2024 one year has passed, and I am still here, celebrating my new life.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this story of my journey and this monumental day.

Yours sincerely,

Ammar dale bsal 

29/9/2024

Note: Departure and arrival dates were between September 29th and 30th

Article No 37

My Experience with the BAMBOO Program in the Refugee Camp

Hello friends! I would like to share one of the most unique experiences I’ve had, which is my participation in the BAMBOO program. Honestly, this was my first time joining a program dedicated to enhancing mental health, and I can say the experience was nothing short of amazing. This program, created in 2020 by GZA (GezondheidsZorg Asielzoekers), targets refugees in the Netherlands and aims to improve their psychological resilience and ability to face daily challenges.

Through five sessions filled with learning and interaction, I gained many important skills. I learned how to manage the stress and anxiety we all feel in our daily lives, especially under the circumstances faced by refugees. Each session was an opportunity to discover something new about myself and how I could use my strengths to overcome difficulties. What made the experience even more impactful was the constant beginning of each session with encouraging words: I am resilient, I am strong, I can adapt."These small phrases have a significant effect, reminding me that I can overcome any challenges I face.

Dr. Asma, who led the sessions, was both kind and fun, which made me feel comfortable talking and interacting. She was always supportive and encouraging, helping us feel that we were in a safe environment where we could share our feelings. The translator, Mr. Mazen, was also an important part of this experience; his cheerful spirit and smile contributed to creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere.

One of the highlights of the program was using art and drawing as a way to express our feelings. In some sessions, we took time to draw what we were feeling on paper, whether those were negative feelings we were trying to let go of or positive ones we wanted to express. Even though I’m not good at drawing, this experience was amazing for me. I felt a great sense of relief when I put my thoughts and feelings on paper, as if I had released some of the negative energy or even expressed the happiness I felt in those moments. We also sometimes wrote down thoughts reflecting the energies we felt, whether positive or negative, which helped me engage with my emotions and express them more clearly.

The sessions also included deep breathing exercises we practiced at the beginning of each meeting. These exercises helped us relieve accumulated stress and feel relaxed. I noticed an immediate positive effect after doing these exercises, as they gave me the opportunity to focus on myself away from everything happening around me.

Discovering My Inner Strengths

Through this experience, I discovered much about myself that I hadn’t realized before. One of the most important revelations was how to recognize and deal with my negative energy. Before the BAMBOO program, I often found myself feeling overwhelmed by stress and negative emotions, but through the exercises and techniques we learned, I started understanding how to channel these feelings productively. I now have tools to navigate through tough psychological phases, such as depression or anxiety, and I know what steps I need to take to maintain my mental well-being.

The program also helped me uncover hidden talents within myself. While I may not be an artist by nature, the act of drawing and writing down my emotions was eye-opening. It made me realize that expressing feelings through creative means is a powerful tool for healing and self-understanding. 

Furthermore, BAMBOO helped me understand what I truly need to do to keep myself emotionally balanced. Whether it's practicing regular breathing exercises, engaging in creative expression, or simply taking time for self-reflection, I now know how to maintain a healthy mental state. It wasn’t just about managing stress during the sessions, but about building lifelong habits that would support my psychological health.

A Journey of Self-Improvement

In addition to everything I learned, this program also gave me a clearer vision of how to develop myself. It reminded me that personal growth is a continuous process that requires patience, courage, and an open mind. The BAMBOO sessions provided not only practical tools but also a mindset shift. I began to see challenges not as obstacles but as opportunities for growth. Every difficult moment became a lesson in how I could become stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to face life's uncertainties.

Breaking the Stigma of Mental Health Care

One important thing I would like to share with you is a recommendation: Do not hesitate to attend such programs. In many societies, especially the ones we come from, it is often considered a "taboo" to visit a mental health professional or participate in self-improvement programs. People might say that going to a therapist or attending these sessions is a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of. But I strongly disagree! On the contrary, these experiences are incredibly beneficial. Do not let societal judgments or negative perceptions hold you back.

We need to prioritize our mental well-being, just as we care for our physical health. The professionals leading these programs have studied and trained extensively, not for nothing, but to offer valuable support. They are there to guide us through our challenges using their knowledge and experience, which can be life-changing. So, I urge you not to listen to the negative voices that might discourage you from seeking help. Instead, focus on yourself and your own growth. Your mental health matters, and programs like BAMBOO can make a real difference.

At the end of the program, we received certificates of appreciation for our participation, which was a moment of pride for me. It was not just because I completed the sessions, but because I felt that I had learned something real that I could use in my daily life. I highly recommend everyone join the BAMBOO program, whether you are in a refugee camp or outside it. The program is open to all ages, from children to adults, and it’s an opportunity to learn how to deal with life’s challenges in a positive and productive way.

This program is not just a series of sessions; it is a journey towards self-discovery and understanding the emotions and challenges we face. It taught me patience and courage, and enhanced my ability to adapt to difficult situations. If you are looking for a way to strengthen your mental resilience and deal with negative feelings positively, then the BAMBOO program is definitely the ideal choice for you

Thanks to Dr. Asma and Mr. Mazen, and of course to GZA.

Ammar Dale bsal

Article No 33

My contribution to the newspaper De Nemanders Gazette

Hello friends,

Today the second edition of the newspaper "De Nemanders Gazette" was published, and in it I shared my story. I am very happy because this is the first time I share my story in a newspaper. I am very grateful to this beautiful newspaper and the wonderful team that sheds light on the stories and struggles of refugees all over the world.

I have been waiting for this day impatiently. The newspaper is full of many beautiful and sad stories, as well as inspiring success stories and other touching experiences. Each story contains powerful sentences and expressions, and in each sentence lies a deep story that needs to be read carefully to experience the feelings that the writer or narrator really experienced.

These are stories worth reading. As for me, I wrote about my own journey, the adventures I went through, and the sacrifices I made to live in peace and security. There are many stories like mine, some with greater suffering, and all of them deserve to be shared and read.

I encourage everyone who has a story to share it, so that the world knows what they have been through and feels their feelings when they read their story. Especially in these times, there are many stories that need to be published and shared widely. Moreover, when you write your story and share it with others, it can ease your pain and bring you a sense of happiness. I started writing two years ago, and it has made me feel more peaceful. Expressing my pain through writing is like taking a medicine that makes me happier.

I urge you to start writing and share your stories with others. I am very grateful to this newspaper and its wonderful team. I thank them very much for their work. Let us help transform someone into someone who feels proud and lives a beautiful and wonderful life, because we all deserve to live in peace, safety and happiness on this wonderful planet.

Thank you to everyone who contributed to this newspaper, and thank you to everyone who worked on it, supported it and developed it. Special thanks to the wonderful team who made this publication. 

soon on www.niemanders.nl 

Ammar D. B 

Article No 32

MMissing y Childhood and Wishing to Relive It

I miss my childhood deeply and long to experience it again because I never truly had the chance to enjoy it as I should have. Now that I am older, I can't relive the childhood moments I was deprived of. My childhood in Syria was extremely difficult, and as a child, life was indescribably harsh.

Today, when I see children playing and laughing, I wish I could become a child again to experience a normal and happy childhood. My childhood was filled with hardships and tragedies, and I didn't experience any joy. I spent my early years moving from one country to another, facing racism, violence, and the constant threat of death. I never had the chance to live a normal childhood, neither in my home country nor abroad.

I yearn for those happy moments I never had. Sometimes, I act like a child and feel overwhelming joy because of it. I believe every human being deserves to live their childhood happily and enjoy a dignified life, especially those who have gone through tough times and challenging childhoods like mine.

I miss the school days and the friends I never got to make because I had to leave school at the age of twelve when the war broke out in my country in 2012. I feel deprived of those experiences and wish I had lived them.

When I act like a child, I feel happiness and peace, but people around me criticize this childish behavior. I don't blame them because they don't understand what I have gone through in my life and childhood. It is unfortunate that many young people and children have lived lives harder than mine, losing their families and everything beautiful in their lives, and losing their homeland just as I lost mine.

Now, I am trying to build a new life in another country that I consider my new home. I have promised myself that I will make up for everything I lost, and I will do my best to achieve that. I sacrificed a lot to reach Europe by land and sea, experiencing terrifying and frightening moments, but I believe this sacrifice is worth it to gain dignity, a homeland, safety, stability, identity, and a new life filled with happiness that compensates for the difficult life I have lived since birth.

I hope to make up for everything because I truly deserve the best, and I also hope that everyone who has lived through similar circumstances can achieve a better life and future. We all deserve to live beautiful and dignified lives because we are human beings, and every human being should live with dignity and happiness.

I hope this article inspires everyone and helps them understand the importance of striving for a better life despite the difficulties. Always remember that you deserve happiness and dignity, and never stop striving to achieve your dreams.

ammar d.b.

7/23/2024

Article No 31

Hello friends, today after we finished the curtains project for the camp in which I live, the project was to make 100 curtains for the rooms. We made them inside the camp and installed them. After that, we were honored with a beautiful gift and a wonderful certificate from me and my colleagues who worked on this project. Frankly speaking, it was beautiful and very enjoyable moments. I am very happy with this certificate. This is the second certificate I have obtained in the Netherlands. It is not just an ordinary certificate or an ordinary paper. It is a pride and I am proud to have obtained it after this wonderful achievement. I put it on the wall in my room next to the first certificate. When I look at it, I remember this achievement and the beautiful moments of Asna. This is beautiful work, and I am excited about other work, other achievements, and other certificates. It gives me energy and enthusiasm for the volunteer work that I do. I will miss the hot chocolate drink that Miss Nina used to give me, hahaha. It is my favorite drink. I also want to thank the administration of the camp in which I live for their support of us. They are wonderful. Very much, they are all wonderful, and their treatment with us is wonderful, and they always support us as much as they can, especially with their beautiful smile. What else, friends? I want to mention everyone’s names and thank them one by one, but this is not allowed, but I consider them my family. Thank you to them in the coming days. It is possible that I will write an article about everyone. I promise you now, I will be satisfied and finish this. The article I wanted to express my thanks and joy and share this achievement with you because I promised to share my beautiful moments and my difficult and sad moments with you \\ I will see you in the next article \\ Note: I shaved my beard and I look different in the picture haha ​​I loved this difference. See you, my friends. Thanks also to[ coa]   

ammar d.b

22/7/2024

Article No 30

Today I want to write about a wonderful experience, frankly, and I am very proud of it. The experience is that we started with a project of curtains for the rooms in which we live in the camp, and today we finished this project, and I am very happy and proud because I was part of this project. We detailed the curtains and installed them, and it was very wonderful. I learned I started sewing because of this project, and I feel very proud because I contributed to making the place better, especially when I was installing curtains for the rooms the residents were in.

We are very happy, haha, and you thank me very much, haha. It was a wonderful day, frankly. There were beautiful moments with my colleagues in this project. I am proud of them and I hope that every person who can improve the place in which he lives will contribute to volunteer work, because it gives positive energy and gives confidence and pride, especially in refugee camps. Volunteering is important. Firstly, to improve the place, secondly, to improve mental health. Before we started this project, frankly, I was in a state of depression, but thanks to the management here, and thanks to Miss Nina, I improved a lot after she invited me to be part of this beautiful project. I feel proud and happy when I look at the rooms and see... I look at the curtains and smile and say to myself, “You are part of this project.” I do not know if I am exaggerating, but it is a beautiful feeling. I thank my colleagues who worked with us on this project, and I thank Miss Nina and the camp management team for helping us, especially Mr. Edwin. I am very excited to participate in other projects to develop or improve the place. The place. I took some pictures for the sake of remembrance. Because I love this type of memory, I want to write about my feelings and this beautiful project. There were beautiful moments, especially when one of the camp residents came carrying a shirt or pants in his hand in order for me to mend them for him. I became a tailor after I mended them. The shirt or something else makes him smile and thank me. I have a nice feeling in general. Helping others is a wonderful and infinite thing. Yes, my friends, I am very proud. I will suffice here even though I feel cold. I am writing this article outside the camp, outside in the open air, and I smell the beautiful trees and the smell of the air after the rain, haha. Wonderful thing, the time now is midnight. I hate the night, but I wanted to write this article because I need to write what is inside me. I am writing this site as my friend and my book, because I do not have anyone to tell about my feeling and my success and what happens in my day or in my life. The important thing is that I feel. I feel comfortable when I write and publish anyway, my friends. I am satisfied here. I will see you in the next article. I do not know what it will be about, but I have a fraction of the words inside me that I want to share here..the end. 

2024

Ammar .D.B😃

Article No 29

In the heart of Turkey, I walked a path of fear and shame, a journey that has left indelible marks on my soul. It was there that I learned to conceal my identity, to hide the very essence of who I am. When asked about my origins, I would dance around the truth, donning the guise of a Turk with my attire and hairstyle, speaking Turkish even with my Arab friends, all to avoid the sting of racism.

The fear was palpable, a constant companion that silenced my phone in public, lest my Arabic voice provoke the ire of those around me. This was not a fleeting moment but a bitter reality, a daily struggle that tore at my sense of self.

I was but one of many Syrians in Turkey who shared this plight, yearning to shed our birthright, wishing for a different lineage. We would sit together, voices trembling with fear and anxiety, whispering our desire to have been born anew, as citizens of another land.

Even now, in a country that embraces diversity, the echoes of that fear resonate within me. I am proud of my Syrian and Arab roots, yet the racism I endured in Turkey has instilled a terror that runs deep.

I dream of a day when the chains of racism are broken, when all are honored for their unique identities. Yet, the battle to overcome the fear ingrained by years of prejudice is a formidable one.

As I reflect on my journey, I am reminded of the strength it takes to rise above such adversity. It is with a heavy heart but a determined spirit that I share my story, hoping that it may resonate with others who have faced similar struggles.

In the end, I'am ammar a Syrian and Arab with a story of resilience. I am a testament to the human capacity to endure and to hope for a better future, a future where the specter of racism is but a distant memory.. 

ammar d.b 

6.yuly /This article was written in response to the difficult racism and ongoing attacks on Syrians in Türkiye this month in particular

Article No 28

Every year the world celebrates World Refugee Day.    This international day aims to honor people who have been forced to flee their homes

 In the camp where I live, a car came and they played Arabic music. This is amazing and a wonderful behavior. Everyone gathered to offer us fried potatoes, a piece of chicken meat, and sauces. Everyone was excited and smiling. It was a simple thing, but most everyone was smiling and happy. Thank you, Middleburg camp administration. The plan and taste were wonderful.  Very delicious and tasty 

   What is World Refugee Day?

   World Refugee Day is a global day designated by the United Nations in honor of refugees around the world, and falls on June 20 of each year.    This day highlights the determination and courage of people forced to flee their homelands to escape conflict or persecution.    World Refugee Day is also an occasion to mobilize sympathy and understanding for their plight and acknowledge their determination to rebuild their lives. 

   World Refugee Day highlights the rights, needs and dreams of refugees, and helps mobilize political will and resources so that refugees can succeed, not just survive.    While it is important to protect and improve the lives of refugees every day, international events such as World Refugee Day help shift global attention toward the plight of those fleeing conflict or persecution, and many activities held on World Refugee Day provide opportunities to support refugees. 

   What activities are held on World Refugee Day?

   World Refugee Day is celebrated each year with a variety of activities in many countries and around the world aimed at supporting refugees.    These activities are led or participated in by refugees. For example, in the camp where I live, they gave us Arabic music, french fries, and fried chicken.  Even though I have not been recognized as a refugee yet, I will become an official refugee soon. I hope so. I conclude the article here and say, “Long live humanity.”  Forever, we are all refugees on this planet. We must continue to respect each other and help each other. 

Thank you, Edwin, for taking the pictures.

Thank you coa 

20/June

Ammar.D.B.

Article No 27

Hello my friends, today I went from Middleburg to Arnhem, specifically to the Rozet Library  We met with a team called de niemanders In order to share ideas for the second edition of de niemanders newspaper This newspaper is unique here in the Netherlands. It talks about the stories of asylum and refugees, their successes, their suffering, and their stories of asylum. Many of the stories you can read the first version on the official website of (de niemanders)

We have shared ideas for the second edition, which will be launched this year, and I hope to offer you something beautiful and convey the suffering of asylum through this newspaper and this team. Thank you for highlighting the stories of asylum and refugees It was a new experience for me, frankly, and I hope to leave  something Beautiful  with them in this version As for me, I will share my story, my journey from Syria to the Netherlands, and the suffering I experienced Thank them for organizing this meeting

Thank you to coa for giving me a free train ticket from Middleburg to Arnhem for attending this meeting and giving me this opportunity. It was a beautiful day and Arnhem was very beautiful. This is my first time going to Arnhem. 

Thanks  de niemanders 

thanks COA 

Thanks sana 

Thanks dullama 

Thanks Rick

2024

7\6

Ammar D.B

Don't  forget to read more about de niemanders 👇

www.niemanders.nl

Article No 26

I hate when the night comes, especially when I am alone. i  think about my family and friends, my future, and my past. The beautiful memories I lived and the tiring memories I lived begin to come back to mind Especially when the night begins, that's why I hate the night, but at the same time I love the dark very much Because I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone, especially in the situation I'm in now or with those who live around me. When the evening comes, the sun sets, and the light from the sky disappears, the suffering begins and the longing begins The hardest part is the longing that begins when darkness begins, especially for people who made me suffer, made me sad, and broke my heart. I don't know why this feeling only starts when night and darkness begin. It's a difficult feeling That's why I don't like the night, it makes me nervous and makes me sad What if there is a way to get rid of all the memories? I don't want to remember anything It is true that there are beautiful memories and beautiful moments, but the most difficult are the sad and humiliating memories that I lived. They do not go away from my heart. I live them every night. Sometimes I wish the night would disappear from my life in order to stop thinking about the memories or stop missing the person I loved who let me down. I don't know what to say. There are words in my heart as much as the water that rains in the Netherlands, but who cares if the person I love and the one who made me suffer came and read this article and sent me a message and said to me, "I'm sorry." Will his message make me forget the suffering and tired memories that I experience every night? Is this an apology? Or this message will make me happy. The answer is yes. I will smile, I will forget, I will be happy, and the night will be beautiful. It could be that my heart is good or if I am a gentle person. I don’t know, but the most important thing is that a beautiful night passes. This is what I aspire to, my dear. I will suffice with these words, since it is cold now, and I am outside my room, sitting outside, and there is very cold air. I feel frozen. It seems that the blood has stopped from my fingers. 

It's now one o'clock at night, how I hate this time 

Ammar D.B

2024

2/6

.1:00

 Article No 25

Today I will write about a new experience in my life and information that I learned and saw for the first time in my life. The camp administration in which I live took us on a trip or a guided tour to the wastewater treatment plant in the city of Middleburg.The station is located southwest of Middleburg And her name Wastewater treatment plant.👇This plant is one of 14 water treatment plants in the Dutch province of Zealand It is 22 minutes away from the camp where I live via bicycle. Of course, the trip is not beautiful without going by bicycle in order to see the beauty of the roads, farms, and horses that I saw on the farms on our way. I also saw really beautiful cows, but they were sad, which caught my eye, haha It's a really beautiful sight. Let me continue My role in this trip was to be the translator from English to Arabic., I was able to translate everything. Or we can say that I tried, I was a little shy and confused, but things went well When we arrived, we were greeted by two nice ladies. I'm sorry I couldn't remember their names, as Dutch names are a little difficult, haha.They are very nice. They received us with a smile and welcomed us very much. They gave us information before the guided tour began about the place and how to treat water. They also did an experiment. The first time I saw it, it was amazing. The experience was about how much Yasir throws tissues in the bathroom or throws them in sewage places. This creates negative effects on the machines that treat water, and it also affects people. On the expenses that they put on installing the machine that treats water and that separates garbage from the water that invades the issue, do not throw garbage in sewage places. In fact, it is not a good thing. It consumes a lot of time and a lot of effort, while Garbage is sorted from the water Also, after the experience, we went on a tour of the place to learn how water is treated There are many steps to treat water, and they are 1. prewash: bulky waste grid

 Before we can purify the water, we must first remove the large pieces of dirt.  There are sometimes cans, wipes or other items floating in the water and we don't want that in the purification system. We keep that rubbish away from the grid.

2. pre-wash: pre-settling tank

 The dirty water then ends up in a secondary settling tank.  The water contains all kinds of rubbish such as sand or grease.  Sand has the opportunity to sink to the bottom in this tank.  The fat floats on the water.  That is scooped off.  This makes the water a bit cleaner.  A layer of mud appears on the bottom.  We call that sludge.  We regularly remove the sludge from the tank with a scraper

3a. main wash: aeration tank

 After an hour, most of the sand has sunk to the bottom and the water goes into the next tank.  This tank contains bacteria that will eat the rest of the dirt that is normally in the water.  Bacteria are very small creatures that can only be seen with a microscope.  They need a lot of oxygen to do their work properly.  That is why we blow air into the water and ensure that the water is stirred up.  It looks like a hot tub!

4. rinsing: final settling tank

 Once the bacteria have eaten the dirt, the water continues to the settling tank.  Here the eaten bacteria sink to the bottom.  After a while, this tank also has a layer of sludge on the bottom.  After a few hours the water is completely clean and we let it flow into the ditch.

5. collect sludge

 There is still a lot of water in the sludge.  We extract as much water as possible.  This means that little sludge remains.  It goes to the landfill or it is burned.

There are also other steps, how to make energy from waste extracted from wastewater. There are many things that I saw on this trip or this experience that were something new that I added to my memory. It was a happy trip and I benefited from it. Frankly, I thank the administration of our camp for this trip or this guided tour. I also thank the two ladies who appear next to me in the picture for their time and for the information they gave us. Also, I do not forget to thank Mr. Jonathan and Mr. Edwin They are from the management of the camp in which I live. They were responsible for us on this trip. Thank you to them. This is the second trip I go on with them. I will see you on the third trip or experience, my friends.

I forgot to tell you to throw the trash in the place designated for it I forgot to tell you to throw the dirt in the place designated for it, because it is a great suffering they suffer when they separate the dirt from the water.

Thanks.to.coa    

Ammar D.B

2024. 23.5💧🤝

Article No 24

One day I was very sad and tired, and my psychological state was very exhausted, so I went out to walk around. While I was walking and listening to the songs, there was a person riding his bicycle. I looked at him and he smiled at me and I smiled at him. After that, I felt comfortable and very happy. The sadness and psychological fatigue that I was experiencing that day went away. I do not know what happened to me, but what I do know is that the strange person who smiled at me changed my feeling and took us from sadness to joy. Although I do not know him and he does not know me, what I want to express is that a smile is very useful. I advise you to smile in the face of everyone you see on your way because it is a beautiful feeling. I am very thankful to the strange man who smiled in my face that day because he made my day. I completed my day and I am very happy. I did not know that a smile would remove sadness and fatigue from me. I was amazed. From the feeling I experienced that day. A simple smile makes something big. I wish I knew the person, I would have gone and thanked him very much. I wish I had gone behind him and thanked him for that simple smile that made my day.I wish I could thank you, beautiful person, but I thanked you in my heart and prayed for you to remain happy throughout your life. I was very happy because of you. I have never forgotten that day. It was a wonderful day that affected me a lot and taught me the true meaning of a smile. I slept happy that day. I have never forgotten that day, you strange person who smiled at me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart  I wrote this beautiful experience in order to make others smile, even if you don't know them. You can change their mood or make their day. There is a lot in my heart about that day, but I will suffice with this and advise you to put a smile on your faces and the faces of others, my friends. Finally, I thank the person who smiled at me and wish him a beautiful life 

Ammar.D.B✏️🫂

2024/23/5

Article No 23

Today I started trying to learn something new in order to get out of the state of depression that I am in. Learning skills and professions makes you feel proud and gives you a happiness hormone when you create something new or learn something new. Honestly, the one who initiated this thing is Ms. Nina. I thank her very much. Nina, she works with the camp administration here where I live. I was walking around the camp hall, and she and two women were making curtains for the rooms in which we live. I went to see what they were doing, and while I was looking at them, Mrs. Nina said to me, “You can join us.” I told her, “I don’t know.” How do I sew curtains or am I not good at sewing? She said, “We can teach you.” So I said, “Why not?” It is an opportunity to learn something new and also to change a little of my psychological situation. So she and the two women who work with us started teaching me. I forgot their names In the first step, they taught me how to put the thread in place, step by step, and taught me how to control the sewing machine. After that, I started experimenting with sewing the first curtain, and it was fine. Then I made another unit, and it was perfect. She told me Your work is good. You can always work with us. Honestly, I was proud of what they said because I learned quickly, so I started making one unit after another, and the end result was excellent. It made me feel comfortable. Because I am doing a wonderful job, firstly, it is voluntary work, secondly, I am helping to improve something in the place where I live, and thirdly, I have learned a profession that I am proud of. The next week, my work began to improve, breaking and breaking, and the results were better. It feels good for me Especially when someone comes and asks me where and when I learned, and I answer that I learned here in this camp I am very proud of this, of course, thanks to Mrs. Nina and her two ladies . Those who work with us, I thank them very much for this thing, and I thank the management of our camp for this opportunity that they gave us in order to learn, help, and contribute something in order for the camp in which we live to improve and for our psychological improvement. Thank you. I am very grateful to you, and I am very proud of you. What else, frankly, I want to write more and more about this beautiful experience, but I will stop here and advise you to learn or do voluntary work or work that will make the place you live It's better, it's a nice feeling. I'm happy with this thing, and another thing is that they are giving us 14 euros as a gift for this help. I thank them. I will buy chocolate with it, hahaha.Another good thing: Thank you to Mrs. Nina for taking this beautiful photo of me, and thank you also to her for the cup of hot chocolate that she gives me every time we work. It is very delicious. I am grateful. 

Thank you, Camp Middleburg Studio a58 management 

Ammar D.B🎉 

Article No 21

Today, a team managed our camp called coa With .Edwin. and Jonathan and maria And people from the camp where I live  Honestly, it was a very beautiful trip. We learned something new and entertained us away from the difficulties we live in at Camp. It is good to go abroad, especially in the Netherlands. There are very imaginative and wonderful places. 

Tall John Abbey Tower

📍 From Koorkerkstraat, Netherlands

Tall John Abbey Tower is a historic landmark in the city centre of Middelburg, Netherlands. The tower is the remaining part of a 13th century abbey, built in a Romanesque style of brick and stone. The tower stands at a height of 73 metres and is the highest point of the city, providing great views of the area from the top. The tower is open to visitors and offers an interesting glimpse into the city's past. Inside the tower visitors can find the Abbey's museum and other exhibits.

We went on a bicycle. The trip was made even more beautiful by going on bicycles, and we took beautiful souvenir photos. I wished that my friends and family were with me on this beautiful trip, but I hope that a day will come when we go again with them. What else? There are cafes, restaurants, and beautiful landscapes in this place. I mean around the church. I advise everyone to have this experience, but do not smoke inside, haha.But Mr. Edvin, who led the team on the way back, lost our way. I told him, “Why did you lose my way?” He said, “I live in a different area.” Hahaha. We laughed a lot. What else was the beautiful photographer who took beautiful pictures. Mrs. Maria is very nice, to be honest, she laughs and smiles all the time, which makes the trip more beautiful, haha Also, Mr. Jonathan was leading the team and explaining to us about the church, the tower, and the area. He was the tour guide on the trip. He is a very nice young man. The important thing is that I thank them very much for this beautiful trip and I know that they are making every effort to put a smile on the faces of the refugees in the camp and make them feel a little happier. What else, I don’t know, but it was a beautiful trip. Thank you to them, and thank you to the Koa team that runs our camp. They are very, very nice, and I am very proud of them, and I thank you for their great efforts here. It should be the second trip to Amsterdam hahahaha 

Thanks coa 

Thanks. Mr. Edwin, Mr. Jonathan and Ms. Maria 

🧡🇳🇱

Ammar. D.B

2024/17/5.

Article No 20

Let's talk today about bullying or how people look at you or what people say about your external appearance or your thinking or your speech for them or for some people. I don't want to include everyone. Do not judge a person by his outward appearance. Do not judge a person by his clothes, hairstyle, skin color, or hair color. Do not bully him if he is a quiet person. Do not bully him if he does not like to mix with people, because you do not know what he has been through or what this person is going through. Do not bully him or speak badly about the way he eats, the way he drinks, the way he walks, or the way he speaks You can simply go and advise him if you care about his situation, but do not throw words at him and walk away. You do not know that this little bad word that you said will capture the negativity of the word in him, and for you it is nothing, but it will destroy him forever. Another thing is that not all people have the same taste or the same thinking, for example ..You do not like to eat meat, others like to eat meat. You do not like to wear tight clothes, others like to wear tight clothes. You do not like to wear accessories, others like this. So, do not judge or bully a person. Every person has tastes, has customs, has a different society, has a different family, and a different opinion, so please do not judge or bully anyone’s appearance, not his appearance, his clothes, or his way of life. You just respect everyone, and if you want to disrespect, just let everyone live as he pleases. Every person’s life is different from the other. Thank you, dear. Negative speech, even if it is just a word, makes a person devastated throughout his life and makes him feel depressed, especially from those who live around him, or it makes him feel depressed for the people who want to get to know him. He will eventually lose the desire to meet new people. He will say to himself, “I don’t want to meet new people.” I hope you respect all ideas and all people Thank you for reading, I wish you a happy life This was written from an experience and a feeling I had 

Ammar. D.B.

2024

Article No 19

Today is April 27th. This day is the feast of the Dutch King Willem-Alexander, and on this day the Dutch people celebrate and wear orange. They practice beautiful activities, especially on this day, and they make orange-colored cakes. These are customs on this day, and there are many beautiful customs and traditions on this day. Honestly, this is my first time participating with the Dutch people on this holiday. It is beautiful and kind. I was very happy with this participation, and on this day I wish him a long and happy life. I wish this country security, peace and happiness. They are a kind people. A beautiful country and a beautiful celebration. I will always thank the Netherlands for everything. Thank you, the Netherlands You also celebrate King's Day in your place of residence

People everywhere in the Netherlands celebrate King's Day. Games and concerts are organized in most villages and towns. Many people wear orange clothes. Because the color is orange It is the color of the Dutch royal family. People also paint Dutch flags on their faces.

During King's Day, people in every big city or village sell their old things on the street. It is an imitation. Many people furnish a piece Fabric and they put old toys, old furniture, or CDs or books on it to sell. This is called the free market.

Ammar .D.B.

27 April 

NL 🇳🇱🎉🧡.

Article No 18

Today I will write about the camp in which I live. The camp is located in the city of Middleburg Middelburg is the capital of Zealand There are approximately 160 people in this camp who live here until they are recognized as beneficiaries of international protection or residency. Frankly, it is very difficult to live here. To be honest, it is better than nothing. I mean, they provided us with a place to sleep and they provide us with assistance amounting to 68.2 euros per week. In order to buy food, drink, and personal items, it is not enough, frankly, but we manage it  Also, there is a COA organization here that is responsible for us in this camp. They are very, very, very nice to us Let's talk a little about my struggles to be honest The most difficult thing here is that the place is closed. I mean, there is no system of rooms or windows for ventilation. You can see that the rooms are a container. Two people live in the front and two people in the backThe suffering I am experiencing is that I cannot breathe while I am inside the container. I mean that there is no natural oxygen, such as oxygen outside or that comes through the windows. Also, the sounds make me very shaken, especially when I go to sleep Although the camp system is a large theater and a large yard in which there are containers in which we live, there is a kitchen, there is a food court, and there is also a games yard, all of them in the same location. This thing makes the place very noisy To be honest, I suffer from snoring sounds at night, haha, it is very annoying, especially since I sleep very lightly. To be honest, from my first day in this place until today, day No. 80, I expect I have not had a comfortable sleep or a peaceful sleep. It is very difficult and for this reason I am in a psychological state and very tired. I have submitted a request to be transferred to another place. But the request was rejected and tried several times but was not approvedIt is the life of a refugee, my friends. I am a refugee. How long will I remain a refugee? I do not know. I now just want to sleep like a normal human being. Thank you.  I do not forget to thank the Dutch government for providing us with this place, health care and everything. Thank you, thank you, from Ammar, the refugee to the Netherlands. Thank you..

Article No 17 

The stage of loss of passion, loss of physical, psychological, mental and social energy and loss of everything in this life Yes, this is the harsh stage that I am going through now. I expect many people to go through it. Unfortunately, I am going through it now. I did not expect that one day I would go through it, and I do not know how to get through it. I am trying. I hope to get through it, it is a very, very difficult stage The most difficult thing about it is that you cannot stop thinking I cannot sleep, I cannot talk to others, and I cannot eat and drink Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say, “You must get over this stage.” You are strong, you are brave, you are great, you are not strong, you are not alone The second day comes and I return to the same stage and return to the same place and the same thinking It is a very painful feeling. I am talking about losing the psyche. It is the most dangerous thing a person goes through. The psyche is very important. It is an important and essential element in a person’s life, but when you lose it, you lose everything. I hope to get rid of this stage and return to myself.I go back to Ammar, who had super strength, big plans, and great goals in this life

18/4/2024 ammar

Article No 16

Day No. 62 in the Netherlands, and I am once again far away from my family, friends, and source of hope Today is the date of March 15, 2024, the first session with the psychiatrist Extreme suffering, a tired soul, and an exhausted body. I don’t remember when I slept well. I don’t remember when I ate well. I don’t remember when my mind stopped thinking that these were tough days. It's a sensual life. I try to be strong every time, but I can't resist Being away from family and friends is very tiring, loneliness is very tiring, and thinking makes me very tired. Sometimes I look for a place to cry, but I can’t find it. Every time I am far from the one I love, I find myself lost and tired. Every time I try to create a future or a goal, I find myself lost. Every time I trust someone, I find that he humiliates me, destroys me, and breaks my feelings I never realized that one day I would wish for an empty, quiet place in order to cry and release my sadness, tears, and negative energy. I never knew one day I would have appointments with a psychiatrist I didn't realize that I would meet the psychiatrist and cry in front of him I do not know how long the situation will remain like this and how long I will remain a refugee. I do not know how long I will live with the one I love or with the one with whom I feel trustworthy. I don't know when I will settle in a place or when I will find internal security Fatigue is killing me and making me very tired. I am in my worst condition. I am broken. I long for death and I envy the dead person for losing life. I no longer have patience and I no longer have the spirit to bear this life or this difficult reality The old man envies me for my young age and does not know what I have been through and what difficult days I have lived through The old man envies me for my energy, but he does not know that I have no energy, nor does he know that I am exhausted and very tired The old man does not know that I wish I was his age in order to know that my life will end faster No one can help me except death The doctor does not know that my treatment is death. The doctor does not know that medicine and words do not help me The doctor knows nothing about what is happening inside me I thank the doctor for trying to help me, but he has no medicine. My medicine is death I'm really dying, but very, very slowly 

Article No 15

On this day there was an activity called walk and talk with nice Dutch people It was a wonderful and useful activity. In this activity, I learned how to introduce myself in the Dutch language and learn numbers in Dutch I learned other things when I was walking around outside the camp where I was living Of course, it was a wonderful day with my fellow volunteers at the camp and also with nice Dutch people 

Ammar 

2024. NL

Article No 14

One of the most beautiful things in the Netherlands is bicycles. All people here use them, young and old. Women, children and men all use bicycles. They are one of the most beautiful things in the Netherlands, especially when you are riding a bicycle. You see everyone smiling at you while driving and saying hello, hey, hey Haha, nice feeling As you drive, you see rivers, trees, beautiful vegetables, clean streets, and beautiful places. Honestly, a wonderful feeling and very nice people. Honestly, I don't make you a bicycle yet, haha But I can borrow my friend's bike while I get a new one 

AMMAR 

2024 

Article No 13

My first achievement and my first honor from the administration of the camp in which I live, I was honored for the volunteer work that I do at the reception center for asylum seekers in Bodel I am very happy with this honor Of course, I thank the organized movement on the ground . I also thank the COA organization They were nice all the time with us . It is a good step. I will work, advance and help this country that provided me with a helping hand I hope to do everything I can to help others, even if it is with a beautiful word or a smile . I hope this country stays safe and happy forever Thank you, the people and government of the Netherlands 

AMMAR 🙏🤍🇳🇱

12 February 2024

Article No 12

I miss my mother and my mother’s tenderness, I miss my mother’s food, I miss my mother’s coffee, I also miss my mother’s smell, I miss my mother’s morning, I miss my mother’s eyes, I miss my mother’s laugh, I also miss my mother screaming at me. I also miss my mother's anger when I made her angry with my actions. I also miss walking beside my mother My mother was not just a mother to me. My mother was my friend, she was my companion, and she was my support. My mother was everything to me. How much I miss you, mother. How cruel life is, mother. You were forced to leave my mother's house. I was forced to go, mother. The distance is cruel, mother. I remember when my mother used to wake up early in the morning to go to the oven and wait for hours to bring us bread. I remember how much my mother suffered to make us feel happy. I remember, mother, how much you cried and how much you suffered for our happiness, how much I miss you, mother, but the war, mother, made us far from each other. 

There will come a day when I see you, my mother, and I hug you and cry, then cry, then cry in your ribs, my mother. I am very tired, my mother, but no one cares about me like you do, my mother. The tears have drowned me, my mother. I hope you stay well, my mother, my country, my friend. Oh my love, my

Article No 11

Article No 10

When I put my feet in the rubber boat, I began to think: Will I die in the sea? I begin to think: Will I be bait for the fish? Will the end of my life be sitting on the shore of an island? She responded to me and told me that she must sacrifice something in order to live in dignity and security The thing I own in order to sacrifice it is my own self. I have nothing else in which I can sacrifice it. The rubber boat set off among the waves and storms while I was holding it in my hands A swimming wheel for survival if the waves overturn the boat It was a scary feeling and a good shower at the same time It's good if I reach my destination alive It would be scary if the boat crashed before we reached the shore I held myself tight, but at the end we arrived and it started to feel good here when I put my feet on the sand It was a difficult and terrifying risk. There were children and women on board the boat There are elderly people Children as young as 5 years old are all going to search for a life of safety and stability How happy they were when we arrived at the beach, not knowing what would happen next What will happen to us after that, but the most important thing is that we crossed the terrifying sea 

Ammar ......

Article No 9

What do you know about a person who lived alone before he knew anything about life? What do you know about a person who goes to work at the age of 10? What do you know about a person who was subjected to ill-treatment in this life? What do you know about a person who has not hugged his brother, father, mother, or sister for a decade, and time is still passing? What do you know about a person who lost his father and could not say goodbye to him or see him one last time? What do you know about a person who does not have the right to be with his family? This person fights life in order to live in peace and security This person lives to secure the lives of the rest of his family This person has a taste of the life that a normal person lives. This person is strong, not weak, but energy is expelled from him This person is me Ammar The one who tries to live a normal life, the one who did not live his childhood, the one who did not taste the taste of childhood or the taste of life, is now trying to live his youth. But until now, I have not been able to live my youth. I feel that I will live my youth like my childhood Until I get old and say, What a very bad life I did not live my childhood there nor did I live my youth there Many of you have a life like mine, I know, but sometimes there is no one to whom you can say these words, so you just write for the sake of memory. Living without family is difficult, especially without a mother. Mother means a lot and means safety and security I don't know that I will see my mother before one of us dies. I will try he passed 8 years, I don't know how much will pass. I hope you stay well, mom. That's enough   

Ammar ....

Article No 8

In the history of 30 9 2023  I entered Greek territory to escape the war in my country and to escape the racism that I lived for 7 years in Turkey, but when I arrived in Greek territory, I prostrated in gratitude to my Lord because I felt that I had become safe and that I had human rights. I began to sleep without worry, without thinking that I would die at the hands of a stranger, because I was Syrian, or because I spoke the mother tongue, or because I was Muslim, or because I was Arab, for example. When I put my head on the ground, prostrating, I thanked my Lord and cried very bitterly because in the last period I have been suffering a lot from the country in which I used to live. When I arrived in Greek territory, I was received by the Greek police, and with them were officials from the United Nations and human rights. When I saw them, I felt that all my le in this way, but for me, this is the first time someone has treated me like this. It was the first time in a decade that I felt like a human being. Yes. with this. I will continue the story when I complete my legal procedures  ....

It was written on 15 10 2023

thank you chios 

AMMAR 

GR🇬🇷♥️

Article No 7

In the history of 3/1/2024 It was the first time I got on a plane and saw the earth from the sky and the beautiful clouds. It was a very beautiful feeling. I will never forget this moment. I had been waiting for it since I was a young child, but my country did not give me the opportunity due to the war that broke out when I was 11 years old, but I migrated, I got tired, and I risked my life in the sea and the forests, and I lived through difficult days that an ordinary person cannot bear, but most importantly, I achieved this dream that I had been thinking about for 10 years. It is a beautiful feeling. I thank everyone who stood with me.He supported me and helped me. I hope that safety and happiness will spread throughout the world because safety is beautiful and life is beautiful. Finally, I thank the Greek state. I wish it and its people security and peace. 

From Ammar to everyone watching, pursue your dream, even if it costs you your life, because the place where you feel wrong must be left 

Article No 6

While I was sitting watching TV, one of my family members called me and told me: Your father is sick in the hospital, his condition is very critical. Things started out normal. I was a little worried and prayed for his recovery. After a few minutes, I received a voice recording from one of my brothers on WhatsApp saying, “Your father died of a sudden heart attack.” Here I was shocked, my nerves collapsed, and I started crying. I went and sent a message to my father on WhatsApp. I told him, where are you, my father? Where are you, my love? I will miss you very much, my father. Forgive me, Father. I wish your soul peace and security in heaven. I wish you a beautiful life in heaven, Father I broke down and became very upset and began to remember the beautiful moments and the days when we were together in one house. I remember when he would get angry with me and a quarrel would break out between us and we would reconcile immediately.  I remember when I used to go with him and accompany him everywhere. He was not only my father, but he was also my friend.  I began to regret the empty moments in which I did not call my father. I began to say, I wish I had spoken to you every day, father. I wish I had called you every moment, and I heard your voice and saw your face, father. I lost my temper. In the end, it is a very, very difficult feeling. Take great care of your parents. They are a blessing from God.  They are everything in this life. Have fun with them, talk to them a lot, make them happy, and give them everything they want. They are a rare thing. When you lose them, you will lose everything. Take good care of them. My father died, and I did not see him. I could not bid him a final farewell, and I could not finally look into his eyes. It is a very difficult feeling. The last time I saw my father was when I left Syria in 2017. It was the last meeting between us.

Ammar .

2022.🍀

Article No 5

I am a big fan of cats, and when I see him I feel very happy Especially when I touch him or feed him or shout to him and he comes as quickly as I expect they will love me too hahaha.Because when they see me they come quickly to me and I feel like they are telling me, “Come touch us, we love you too.” A beautiful and gentle creature. I love cats very much. I raised a little cat and named her Atosi We lived together for a long time, she was nice and beautiful, but someone came and stole her from my house while I was at work. I came home and shouted, Atosi, where are you? Come, I brought you food, but then I realized that Atosi was not here. I searched everywhere for her a lot and did not find her. I was very sad for her and cried a lot for her I felt guilty towards her. I lived through difficult days after losing her. I hope she lived well with the one who stole her from me. I love you, Atusi. I will never forget you. 

♥️🐈Atusi

Ammar

♥️

Article No 4

This was my condition when I decided to leave again to a farther place. This was my condition when I decided and was forced to leave my friends. And about my room and the streets that I was walking along, and I also realized that I would be far away from what I was. I mean, further away from my country, which was somewhat close, but unfortunately I was forced to leave It was a very difficult decision. I do not know how this risk will end or where it will end I decided to leave again after 8 years, I expect after the first departure from my home country I stayed up all night crying and thinking whether this was a good decision or just an illusion In the end, I made a decision that I hope I don't regret 

27/9/2023

Ammar

Article No 3

Hello my friends, this is the first time in my life that I have undergone surgery and finally the moment I have been waiting for since I was 9 years old. I had a mass in my neck next to the vein. The doctor said it was a lymphoma. He also told me that you are lucky that you came, otherwise the operation would not have been successful if he had been delayed any longer It was a very scary feeling the first time I wore surgery clothes and saw blood and hospital equipment Which produces the sound of the heart and body beating The operation lasted for two hours, but thank God it was successful and she got rid of it But not forever. The doctor said that it can grow after 5 years. I told him that I cannot guarantee my life for one year And you tell me 5 years haha Yes, it was a good feeling that I had my first surgery and it was successful 

I thank the doctor, the hospital, and my friend who was by my side the whole time in the hospital 

10/10/2022

Ammar

  Article No 2

It was a beautiful party and a beautiful honor. At the same time, it was a difficult year. 2020. I and my friends at work were honored. It was beautiful days that we spent with each other in this company. We learned many things about each other. We learned new things about a different culture, and frankly, I took important advice from my co-workers, who were very smart and kind. I will miss you so much thank you all The Corona virus has separated us from each other, but we will return one day, my friends. I hope you are well 

Thanks LEDER TURIZM 

2020

AMMAR

  Article No 1

This is me Ammar. Here I was in Syria, Idlib. I expect it was 2016. Here I was working in the field of car maintenance. Yes. I was 15 years old. I worked very well, and my boss loved my work very much But to be honest, the fee was very low, hahaha But I was forced to work in order to support my family. These were very difficult days, but they were beautiful at the same time. I was among my family. I was eating my mother's delicious food and cooking I used to work from 8 am to 6 pm It was hard and long work for my young age, but I was very strong and could only think, but rather insisted and had patience in order to survive. About a year after this photo, I left Syria because of the war that has never subsided to this day By the way, this is my grandfather’s house where I and my family used to live. How I miss it. I have beautiful memories here. I hope to visit it before I die. 

Struggling 

Ammar 

2016

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